Walls come tumbling down Taking itself way too seriously since 2001 http://www.gorners.com en-us Copyright © 2001-2005 gorners.com Fri, 25 Jul 2008 19:35:11 +0100 60 Obama wins German primary http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1216996133 http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1216996133 Fri, 25 Jul 2008 15:28:53 +0100 http://blog.gorners.com/ShowComments.php?id=1216996133
sqI prefer the hot French lady who ran for president in France.rq
Kenny, earlier.
I put that as a ticker headline because I thought I was being funny -- you know, hoards of leder-hosen clad Germans piling out with comedy (gnome-like) bellys swinging Steins and thumping tables in honor of the new head of Deutschland Inc. It transpires that I'm not funny. Either that or I should be suing Reuters. When I typed that headline, I thought only my perverse mind would have come up with the thought "if Obama ran in Europe..." simply because it is just about the most nonsensical metric you could possibly construct without leaving the stratosphere. It says nothing other than Europe doesn't like George Dubya President...we knew that. Why such a respected news source feels the need to publish such a glaring truth beats me; I guess that timesheet software the world over must be broken so Reuters too are scrabbling around for Friday afternoon work that is an easy win.

In other news, I'm starting to wonder where I delineate between '''midgets''' and '''gnomes''', seeing they share the same rather sinister characteristics. You'd be surprised (perhaps not) at how much of my day that has consumed.

Also, you'll all get very bored with my quoting myself a lot quicker than I do, but for the moment, it is amusing me. And, after all, it's all about me isn't it? Well, when it's not about midgets or gnomes it is anyway.
 
Kenny on Fri, 25 Jul 2008 15:28:53 +0100
Comments]]> Ticker http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1216986558 http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1216986558 Fri, 25 Jul 2008 12:49:18 +0100 http://blog.gorners.com/ShowComments.php?id=1216986558  
Kenny on Fri, 25 Jul 2008 12:49:18 +0100
Comments]]> This is mean but... http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1216937886 http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1216937886 Thu, 24 Jul 2008 23:18:06 +0100 http://blog.gorners.com/ShowComments.php?id=1216937886
I nearly had a "battery outage" but I felt that given I have been ducking this person's calls for two weeks straight, it was about time I bit the bullet and stopped behaving like an arse. After that, I am now of the opinion that I can live with being an arse [cues up the finish for Maest/Waaarty].

If I don't wake up tomorrow, it will be because I have had the life sucked out of me.
 
Kenny on Thu, 24 Jul 2008 23:18:06 +0100
Comments]]> One of those days (in England) http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1216913003 http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1216913003 Thu, 24 Jul 2008 16:23:23 +0100 http://blog.gorners.com/ShowComments.php?id=1216913003 ...there you go Maest -- a Roy reference for you.

lqI'm dead clever, me.rq
Kenny, yesterday.
Long time sufferers chez moi know very well that occasionally I go off into coding mode. I gave up writing code for a living about the same time I met proper programmers. It dawned on me that there was a better market for someone who could write code when needed but was also a bit more people-friendly so off I went. I keep my hand in by having written the software that runs this site. For the most part this stuff just works. Every now and again, I get an idea and set to work implementing it. Sometimes it's two minutes of a job and others I have to change something fairly dramatically. The problem is that when I do change something and I break it, I do not do anything (eat, sleep etc.) until I have fixed it. That is what has happened over the last 24 hours.

Unless you are a software professional, you will not have gone through the torture of trying to fathom out the subtlest of problems. It is hell. This is where my Kenny sixth sense kicks in. Unfortunately, it took a while longer than usual this time. I even bowed and asked for help from the developers here with no luck. Anyway, 'tis done and I'm not even going to bother trying to explain it all.

XXXIt's pantsXXX
Kenny, this morning.
On the subject of shoddy developers, I hit the Telegraph website this morning and can I say how shocked I was? It looks like they have hired a bunch of undergrads to take feeds from external sources, ads from even more external sources and thrown the lot at a web page, armed only with some lipstick (or in this case bad CSS). It is a dog's breakfast (for US readers, this means a mess as appose to dog's bollocks which would mean good). Honestly, it looks like a first generation portal that had about 10 minutes design put into it. I emailed Bryony to report the level of my horror. I hope it makes it back to the people whose bright idea a rebrand was. Speaking of Bryony, her column today is a rather tongue in cheek look at the transience of digital photography, or rather the immediacy. Once again I liked it, but the scumbag Telegraph-readers appeared not to. Thankfully there does seem to be the seeds of a protectorate forming; there are some defensive comments.

Forgive me. When I've been in "Mr Logic" mode, I lose the ability to form a coherent sentence for about 24 hours.
 
Kenny on Thu, 24 Jul 2008 16:23:23 +0100
Comments]]> New toys http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1216841677 http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1216841677 Wed, 23 Jul 2008 20:34:37 +0100 http://blog.gorners.com/ShowComments.php?id=1216841677
Not a gay bishopA bishop who is not gay, yesterday. Although he is gnomish, and hot to gnomes.
I'm just trying out some new things here.

Firstly, I have finally got around to writing some javascript to insert tags properly -- if I hand code tags, I am guaranteed to mess it up at least once. If I generate them automatically, they should be good to go. So the BBC style image to your left had all its tags and gubbins generated in PHP. Go me.

The other thing that I have done is implemented a rather nifty little search feature. If you see things that are bold but are not colored, you can click and it will provide a search box containing that entry. At the moment it gives the choice of wiki, google and youtube. I have nicked the code (with his permission) from one of the guys who writes our search engine and I really do like it. Grom's attempt at deploying it failed but we'll fix that. You can check it out by clicking on '''Fiona Apple''' or '''Kate Silverton'''.

The one down side is that it has broken my headlines, but they were getting dull anyway. I'm sure it must be my code that was fundamentally wrong so I'll probably fix it as some point, but for now, I quite like the search feature more. Oh, and I've had to mess with the CSS so some archives may or may not validate as W3C compliant.

If anyone wants the code, let me know -- I think I'm right in saying that Mr Top Search Guy is happy for it to be used wherever.
 
Kenny on Wed, 23 Jul 2008 20:34:37 +0100
Comments]]> Anglican convention thrills press http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1216817369 http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1216817369 Wed, 23 Jul 2008 13:49:29 +0100 http://blog.gorners.com/ShowComments.php?id=1216817369 Bishop says Anglicans could be led by a woman.

I just love the word "could". It could also be led by an atheist lady-boy named Tiger or a F1 driver called Mildred. Hell, even a midget called Kylie could one day grace the hallowed grounds of wherever it is that Anglican leaders hang out.

It's ironic that the above statement was made on the same day that the Archbishop of somewhere not Canterbury stated that the church is fundamentally broken.

Apparently this meeting of the great and the good only occurs every ten years. I'm guessing ten years is long enough for the people who dropped a bollock at the previous meeting to either retire, be prosecuted or kiff it. Could you imagine if they met every year and went away with actions? The media coverage would be endless and even more enlightening than the current limp-along.

As I was about to hit post, I spotted Gay bishop Gene Robinson 'must be sacked' to save church from schism. Why do I think that a straightforward sacking based on sexual preference might be just a little bit illegal?

If the boys and girls can't play nice, I think they should all be sent home early.
 
Kenny on Wed, 23 Jul 2008 13:49:29 +0100
Comments]]> You tell me... http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1216729553 http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1216729553 Tue, 22 Jul 2008 13:25:53 +0100 http://blog.gorners.com/ShowComments.php?id=1216729553

Here is today's missive. I am open to any and all "readings" subject to the aforementioned conditions.

I'm in a state of even greater confusion than is usual. Flower, star, map, pulmonary edema?

Help a Kenny out.
 
Kenny on Tue, 22 Jul 2008 13:25:53 +0100
Comments]]> Humor failure -- implement recovery plan http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1216724618 http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1216724618 Tue, 22 Jul 2008 12:03:38 +0100 http://blog.gorners.com/ShowComments.php?id=1216724618
It's not often a complete sense of humor failure occurs, but even my backup appears to have bitten the dust today, which is a shame because I was amusing myself earlier.

My advice to all of you is that unless you feature in my top 5 favorite people on the planet, avoid me for at least a few hours.
 
Kenny on Tue, 22 Jul 2008 12:03:38 +0100
Comments]]> Placatory post http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1216651924 http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1216651924 Mon, 21 Jul 2008 15:52:04 +0100 http://blog.gorners.com/ShowComments.php?id=1216651924
My romance with the girl in Starbucks (as reported on Friday) took a twist this afternoon when I was presented with a very ornate star on the top of my coffee and an apology that it had bled a little on one of the points. Is this a sinister development or a natural progression of a mating ritual I have never come across before? I must confess that declaring ones love for a woman, based solely on the fact that she makes the world's best cup of joe and adorns it with coded messages is a little eccentric but in this case it's entirely permissible. I think she might be slipping roofies in the chocolate gubbins too. I've promised her that the next time I go over there I'll take a picture of her handywork and post it on my website; that way she's happy and you can help me decipher what it is she's trying to tell me. I don't want to know if it involves lycra, midgets or twitchers, so spare me.

I had to giggle after that. She's jaw-droppingly good looking and all I can say is that she makes a fine brew. I guess I'm older than I realize.
 
Kenny on Mon, 21 Jul 2008 15:52:04 +0100
Comments]]> From the list of WTF headlines... http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1216646043 http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1216646043 Mon, 21 Jul 2008 14:14:03 +0100 http://blog.gorners.com/ShowComments.php?id=1216646043 Church of England says homosexuals face pain.

This sounds like the ravings of someone who graduated from the University of West Anglia.

On a serious note, and I know I've kind of gone off on more than one on this subject over the last couple of weeks, but the church should just shut up and look cute. If you're pretty to most of the world but you haven't got a sensible neural path in your head, the best option is to keep schtum. Hey, don't knock it; it works for millions of people (and David Beckham) the world over; you have a gift -- don't spoil the illusion.

I've deliberately kept off here today because my tongue seems to be a tad looser than usual, as is evidenced by several rather inappropriate remarks I made in a meeting this morning regarding sealed envelopes and "when can I claim my £100?". I keep saying, I joke about being right, but sometimes I'm more right than even I thought. Scary.
 
Kenny on Mon, 21 Jul 2008 14:14:03 +0100
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