Taking itself way too seriously since 2001 http://www.gorners.com en-us Copyright © 2001-2009 gorners.com Tue, 09 Mar 2010 15:35:02 +0000 60 http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1268148898 http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1268148898 Tue, 09 Mar 2010 15:34:58 +0000 http://blog.gorners.com/ShowComments.php?id=1268148898
I am, however, frustrated with technology at home. I need to print something out and my printer is not playing ball. The damn thing is 18 months old and has probably printed less than 400 sheets of mostly text. At the moment it refuses to obey me. I have realigned the print cartridges several times but still no joy. I have a feeling it is the black cartridge but I cannot work out what the hell is wrong with it. I desperately need to print out some docs to take to Leeds tomorrow so I guess I am going to spend the evening fettling. Hate that.

Those interested in my crockpot exploits will be happy to know that my lobby (Waaart's receipe) worked a treat and tasted pretty damned good. The Waaart had warned me that straight boiled onions gave him bad heartburn. I laughed, but not for long. After every bowl of lobby, I felt bloated and racked with heartburn. I think in future I may sweat them first, but that is starting to sound like it is beating the point of just throwing things in a pan.

If I'm quiet for the rest of the week, you can assume I am fuming somewhere.

Finally, spare a thought for our favorite journo in the US. She is probably in surgery as I type. Best wishes Tasha.
 
Kenny on Tue, 09 Mar 2010 15:34:58 +0000
Comments]]> http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1267705177 http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1267705177 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 12:19:37 +0000 http://blog.gorners.com/ShowComments.php?id=1267705177
I guess I will just never be able to cook anything more than grills, potatoes and shepherd's pie. The maternal unit is considering buying a crockpot. I'm thinking when she comes to pick up the TV for her bedroom at the weekend, I'm going to let her take mine. If, at first, you don't succeed, it was fate. I have always operated on that premise.

In more positive news, I got a call from mad lass across the road yesterday announcing that she is taking delivery of an iPhone today and wants my help in teaching her how to use it. I consented to her arrival later today subject to her bringing her salon scissors -- I am a feckin' hippy at the moment and it needs sorting.

In even more positive news, as of sometime later today, I can upgrade my phone to an iPhone through work. I get a not insubstantial discount (therefore top spec on everything for me) so I will be in like a salmon as soon as the appropriate intranet page goes live. I have literally sat hitting refresh every 15 minutes all morning, waiting to be first in line. I cannot wait.

I don't even want to talk about work. It's like a bloody roller-coaster.

C'est tout.
 
Kenny on Thu, 04 Mar 2010 12:19:37 +0000
Comments]]> http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1267630623 http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1267630623 Wed, 03 Mar 2010 15:37:03 +0000 http://blog.gorners.com/ShowComments.php?id=1267630623
440g braising steak -- seal in hot frying pan. Bung it in 1 pint of stock with thick sliced onions, a bit o'garlic, mustard, peppers, mushrooms and potatoes. Season with salt, pepper and worcester sauce. Slow cook for 7 hours.

I suppose it either will or won't. It looks like I have a learning curve ahead of me. While I was thinking about this, I realized that I am missing quite a few key kitchen necessities which means yet another Sainsburys order.

I will report on any success/failure.
 
Kenny on Wed, 03 Mar 2010 15:37:03 +0000
Comments]]> http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1267544897 http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1267544897 Tue, 02 Mar 2010 15:48:17 +0000 http://blog.gorners.com/ShowComments.php?id=1267544897
In other great news, my crockpot (slow-cooker for those who do not speak American) arrived today together with my new wooden chopping board. I have yet to unpack them, but know that they will be in use before the end of the day. I fancy a nice sausage casserole with new potatoes. Okay, I may be eating late but it will be worth it and it will feed me for three days.

Joy. I'm so happy I may even attempt the crossword today for the first time in a few weeks.

BTW Keith, while Ritz crackers are the dog's nads, squirty cheese from a can should be a felony.
 
Kenny on Tue, 02 Mar 2010 15:48:17 +0000
Comments]]> http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1267446928 http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1267446928 Mon, 01 Mar 2010 12:35:28 +0000 http://blog.gorners.com/ShowComments.php?id=1267446928
Pet hates: commercials. The gocompare.com adverts drive me insane. I have to hit the mute button. Under no circumstances will I ever use them for anything ever. I would gladly drive without insurance rather than dosh them a penny. I would not p*ss on them if they were on fire. Whoever came up with that ad campaign needs their bumps felt -- utter dross.

Next up, Perle de Lait, the yoghurt. If that is not the most sickly French voice ever, you can call me Kenny Von Red Baron. I feel nauseous just listening to the whining lass lament her previous taste in dairy products. It's another mute job.

Finally, the Leerdarmer cheese gay assed pixie playing a whistle/flute as he minces through a forest. That, right there, is mitigation for shooting the little shit. I wouldn't mind quite so much, but I tried the cheese before the ad came out, and it is plastic pants. Would go down well in the US (probably in a squirty can) but most Europeans would vomit at the sight of the vile stuff.

Sticking to the food subject, I bought the Flip-Flop a crockpot for her birthday and apparently she loves it. It reminded me how much I loved stuff done in the crockpot in the US so I have ordered one for me. Pretty simple isn't it? Slap a load of stuff in there and let it cook. My problem is that I have no idea what stuff to stick in there. Let's say I had some chicken chunks or braising steak and some veg. What do I need to do to make some kind of stew-y stuff? Corollary: can you make salisbury steak in there -- I miss that stuff like nothing on earth -- and if so, how?
 
Kenny on Mon, 01 Mar 2010 12:35:28 +0000
Comments]]> http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1267275484 http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1267275484 Sat, 27 Feb 2010 12:58:04 +0000 http://blog.gorners.com/ShowComments.php?id=1267275484
Ironically, I think that my decree absolute with version 1 was declared on the same date.

I do not, for a moment, believe that this is an end to stress and grief with her but it does bring some light relief and endless possibilities for ex-wife and mother-in-law jokes. Where is my Les Dawson book when I need it?

Happy, happy day. Can I do a little dance? Were I a cigar smoker, I would be sparking up one huge stogey right about now. In fact, as tasteless as it may be, I think I am going to organize a divorce party for next weekend.
 
Kenny on Sat, 27 Feb 2010 12:58:04 +0000
Comments]]> http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1267271203 http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1267271203 Sat, 27 Feb 2010 11:46:43 +0000 http://blog.gorners.com/ShowComments.php?id=1267271203
I do intend keeping it an efficient visit though. Quick look for a new leather jacket, Yamsi's and then home for me. The others can stay and party on if they so wish.

I'm also suffering from being a school kid. Every morning last week, I was dragging ass to get up. Today being Saturday, I was expecting to crash until at least 11. Oh no. 06:00 came around and I was wide awake. Tomorrow I will be lying in bed until at least noon; even if I'm not sleeping, I will be there. I am not about to be robbed of an opportunity to get some serious R&R.

Finally, and you will rarely hear these words from me, good luck City.

I will report on Yamsi's at some point.
 
Kenny on Sat, 27 Feb 2010 11:46:43 +0000
Comments]]> http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1267041583 http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1267041583 Wed, 24 Feb 2010 19:59:43 +0000 http://blog.gorners.com/ShowComments.php?id=1267041583
I was watching the six o'clock news and nodded off. This is probably because I have had blood drawn this afternoon and afterwards thought that, while I was in town, I should look for that new jacket I have been promising myself for ooh, two weeks now. I traipsed up and down Wigan only to be sadly disappointed. Anyway, I came home, sat down and just crashed.

I remember nothing of the dream other than Bryony Gordon being stood at the bus stop opposite my house soaked to the skin and then the end when my kid brother and I were in a house (which was quite obviously not our parents' but was for the sake of this dream) and being panic stricken that I was still watching TV and writing code at 05:20 in the morning. My brother was slumped in a chair with a different TV still going but out to the world. The absolute horror at the thought of being caught had me doing a Mission Impossible move to get to bed before someone awoke and discovered my outrageous crime. The moment I made it into bed and pulled the cover over my head I woke up.

It was 19:30 and I was on my own couch in my own house with some nauseous cant emanating from the TV.

I have no idea where the Bryony bit fits in, but she was very sweet. The rest? What can I say? I'm thinking authority figures. Never did like them. At the age of 0x28, you'd have thought I would have got over that particular hang-up by now. Mais non.

Very entertaining for a Weds evening so I look forward to more senior moments.

Right. Dinner. Sainsburys roast beef dinner or a nice pile of beans and egg on toast? I know which I am liking the sound of albeit that it is a bit veggie for my liking. Maybe if I throw a frankfurter in the beans?

BTW, The Canaries are winning on the vacation stakes at the moment but the door does not shut until the papers arrive so keep your thinking heads on.
 
Kenny on Wed, 24 Feb 2010 19:59:43 +0000
Comments]]> http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1266950004 http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1266950004 Tue, 23 Feb 2010 18:33:24 +0000 http://blog.gorners.com/ShowComments.php?id=1266950004
Just for giggles I checked out Grand Cayman. Cough. £2000 for 7 nights in a beach hotel (without flights). I managed to clutch the tabasco and wave it under my nose.
 
Kenny on Tue, 23 Feb 2010 18:33:24 +0000
Comments]]> http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1266865051 http://www.gorners.com/permalink.php?id=1266865051 Mon, 22 Feb 2010 18:57:31 +0000 http://blog.gorners.com/ShowComments.php?id=1266865051
It has been a very disappointing day today. I got up full of gusto, ready to take on the world and it just didn't happen. I've spent hours writing a document template and the force was not with me. You know how you have those days when everything comes easy and others where you cannot get past the first hurdle? I can ascribe this to a few causes. First off, the water pressure is so pathetic at the moment that the shower heater will not kick in so I didn't get my usual "hello Kenny" morning. I'm struggling with a couple of things/people at work too -- very frustrating. I was also expecting my finalized big D papers which never appeared.

I have promised myself that once the signed, sealed and delivered big D papers arrive, I am going to book a week off and head somewhere, even if it's just a week in relative warmth in a really tacky Spanish resort.

Elvis is fine, before you ask. He's lost a few pounds and does get to the gym every now and again. Not keen on his wig though. We're meant to be meeting up with Marilyn for egg and chips so I'd best skedaddle.
 
Kenny on Mon, 22 Feb 2010 18:57:31 +0000
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